


I Love You As I Loved You

by enby0angel



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Domestic, First Kiss, Fluff, Found Family, Getting Together, I had the need to write soft, Introspection, Look this is just soft, M/M, a dash of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enby0angel/pseuds/enby0angel
Summary: Whenever Eddie stopped for a second to look back at his life, he would say that falling in love with Buck was the easiest thing he’d ever done.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 202





	I Love You As I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mytsukkishine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytsukkishine/gifts).



> Hello, Buddie fandom! I crash-landed into this ship 0.5 seconds after their first interaction, I binged the whole series (and Lone Star) in a week and a half and here I am!!
> 
> I had to write these two eventually. I'm amazed it took me as long as it did honestly lol. This is also the first fic I've finished in like, a month, so I hope this is somewhat coherent.
> 
> For the lovely mytsukkishine, with whom I have been yelling about these two idiots and their son. Love you Hana <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> (Title from "When You Were Sweet Sixteen" by The Fureys.)

Whenever Eddie stopped for a second to look back at his life, he would say that falling in love with Buck was the easiest thing he’d ever done.

Nothing in Eddie’s life had ever been easy. Growing up in Texas wasn’t easy, with his father looming over his shoulder and constantly yelling _“Time to be a man, Eddie!”_ in his ear. Loving Shannon wasn’t easy, expectations swirling around the two of them until he wanted to throw up. And despite whatever Shannon might have said to the contrary, going to Afghanistan wasn’t easy. Leaving his _son_ wasn’t easy. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, and when he held Christopher in his arms on his parents’ porch as they decided to go on an adventure together, just the two of them, he vowed he would never leave his child again.

The firefighter’s academy wasn’t easy. It challenged him in ways even the army hadn’t, but at least he’d been able to come home to his son every night.

Even Buck wasn’t easy at first. Who knew that removing a live grenade from a man’s leg in the back of an ambulance would be the tipping point for their friendship?

“ _You could have my back any day.”_

“ _Or, y’know… you could have mine.”_

From there, being Buck’s friend was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Buck seamlessly slotted into his life, like he was filling a hole Eddie didn’t even realise was there. Pepa and Abuela loved him almost immediately after watching him interact with Christopher, and Christopher adored the man in a way no words could describe. It’s like Eddie had to put no effort into their friendship – all he had to do was be himself, and Buck would be there.

For someone like Eddie, being himself was absolutely  _terrifying_ .

Buck made it easy.

Eddie couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with Buck. It was a slow and steady thing, so slow that he didn’t even realise it at first. He could, however, remember the exact time he realised it:

It was just another day for the three of them – Eddie, Buck and Christopher, in Eddie’s  home . It was a Sunday morning after a twenty-four hour shift  together , and Buck had stayed the night on the couch. Christopher had woken up to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes  and had come out to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Eddie had watched as his son’s face lit up at the sight of Buck at the stove, yelling out  _“Bucky!”_ with the kind of glee that only a child can truly express. Buck had abandoned the stove in favour of crossing the room and scooping Christopher into his arms, twirling him around and holding him close. Christopher had laughed loud and clear, and Eddie thought his heart might swell to bursting.

In the end, it was easy as breathing.

Inhale:  _he’s my best friend._

Exhale:  _he’s my family._

Inhale: _what would I do without him?_

Exhale:  _oh. I’m in love with him._

  
  


The three of them spent the day together. Eddie might hesitate to call it  _perfect_ without knocking on wood, but it was the best day he’d had in a long time. Buck had insisted on buying them all ice-cream after lunch, and Eddie had rolled his eyes but agreed – on the condition that Christopher’s sugar crash was for Buck to handle alone this time. Buck agreed much too cheerfully.

It was in everything that Buck did. Every smile, every laugh, every look of adoration in his eyes when he looked at Christopher.

_I love him, I love him, I love him._

  
  


Buck cooked them dinner, as he almost always did when he stayed late enough for it. He and Christopher teased Eddie,  _again_ , about not being able to cook, and Eddie pretended to be so offended that he wouldn’t let Christopher choose the movie that night in retaliation. He let Buck choose instead, and Buck chose a movie that neither Christopher nor Eddie had seen before but both of them ended up enjoying, because Buck was always like that.

Christopher’s eyes were drooping closed by the time the credits of  _Mary Poppins_ started to roll, and Buck carefully cradled the boy in his harms and carried him to his room. Eddie cleared up the living room in the meantime,  listening to Buck quietly murmuring to Christopher as he helped him into bed.

Eddie must have had an odd look on his face when Buck emerged, because Buck frowned. “Eddie? You okay?”

Eddie nodded. “Just thinking.”

Buck’s eyes sparkled as he approached. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, bumping his shoulder against Eddie’s.

“Fuck you too.” Eddie shoved Buck away, but he was smiling and Buck was laughing and it was good.

_I love him._

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Buck asked, his face sincere. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,” Eddie answered. And he did know, because Buck was, well… he was Buck. 

“Good.” Buck was smiling and Eddie wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of his life.

_I love him._

“I was thinking about LA, and everything that’s happened since I got here,” Eddie admitted. Buck held out an open beer bottle, and Eddie took it gratefully. “I know that moving doesn’t magically make you a new person, but it gives you the chance to start something new, right?” Buck nodded, and somehow Eddie knew that he actually understood and wasn’t just agreeing. “I feel like this was the best thing I could have done, for me and Christopher. I guess I just realised that I...” he sighed, looking up at the ceiling. Buck didn’t push him, just let Eddie collect his thoughts.

Eddie looked back down, and Buck’s face was so open that Eddie wanted to cry. “I  _like_ the person I am now.” Eddie’s voice was rough and quiet, and it felt like he was admitting a secret he didn’t know he was keeping. “I like the person I’ve become. I’ve never liked myself this much before.”

“Eddie.” Buck was smiling. “You’re such a good person, Eddie. You’re a good friend and an amazing father.”

“It feels so weird that I’m actually starting to believe that these days,” Eddie said with a choked laugh. “I feel like I’m not walking on eggshells every day anymore. It’s really nice, the person I’ve become. I’m not afraid all the time.”

“Afraid?” Buck questioned.

Eddie took a deep breath.

Inhale:  _I love him._

Exhale:  _I’ve never loved anyone else like this before._

“I’m not afraid to tell you how I feel about you,” Eddie confessed in barely more than a whisper. He watched as Buck’s breath caught and his eyes grew wide. “I’m not afraid to tell you that I’ve been falling in love with you since the day I met you and I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

“Eddie...”

“I’m not afraid to tell you,” Eddie continued, taking a step closer to his best friend, “because I think you might feel something for me too, and I’m not afraid to do something about it anymore.”

A tear rolled down Buck’s cheek, and Eddie cupped Buck’s cheek with his hand and brushed it away with his thumb. 

“You mean that?” Buck asked, his voice cracking.

Eddie put his beer down on the kitchen counter and put his now free hand to Buck’s other cheek. “I do.”

“That’s a chance you’d be willing to take?” Buck looked so uncertain and Eddie hated that look on him.

“I don’t see it as a chance, Buck. I want you, us, everything. You’re already part of our family.” Eddie cracked a small grin. “You’re already Christopher’s other parent, basically.”

Buck laughed. “I don’t know about that, but you are right about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I do love you.” Buck was slowly relaxing into Eddie’s hands. “I thought you might, but I… I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to mess it up if I was wrong.”

“You’re not wrong. I love you too.”

Buck looked so sweet and what was Eddie to do but kiss him, then? With his arms around Buck’s neck and Buck’s around his waist, pulling him close until there was nothing between them, it was so easy.

Falling in love with Buck wasn’t just the easiest thing Eddie had ever done – it was an inevitability.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


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